i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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