Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I think my moral compass just broke
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