I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
