What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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