problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.