Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍