You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.