is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.