I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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