considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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