How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
