Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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