STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
