we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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