Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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