So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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