he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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