I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
