1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
