You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
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I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
How's work?
Spinning.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
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After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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