She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I did not marry a roomba.
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