I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
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i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
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i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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