spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
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