yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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