No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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