ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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