he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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