DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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