So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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