My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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