Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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