just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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