idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
