I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
