So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
