the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
