just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
