You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
