took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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