apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
