Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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