I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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