Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
