I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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