I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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