Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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