Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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