so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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