This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
