Kiss
Puke
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
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my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
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I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
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