she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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