kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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