Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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