well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
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I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
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I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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