he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
