Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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