Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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