all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
